


He's Not Afraid

by LibbyWrites



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Lifeguard Harry, Lyric Wheel Challenge, M/M, One Shot, Song Lyrics, Surfer Louis, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-02
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-08-12 13:21:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7936306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LibbyWrites/pseuds/LibbyWrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is tired of watching amazing, fearless Louis from a distance every summer, and daydreaming about him the rest of the year. The one night a year he gets to have him, he takes a chance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He's Not Afraid

**Author's Note:**

> This is my entry for the song She's Not Afraid on the [1D Lyric Wheel Challenge](http://1dlyricwheel.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr. The challenge consists of writing a little fic, including at least three lines from the song they select for each writer. The lines can't be sung or be part of a poem, they have to be either narration or dialogue.
> 
> As always, I'm gonna thank my fantabulous beta and amazing friend, [Marea](http://archiveofourown.org/users/marea707/pseuds/marea707). 
> 
> PS: This is a work of pure fiction. I don't own these people.

Harry sighed for what felt like the millionth time that day and diverted his eyes, focusing them on the doodles his fingers were making on the warm sand. The level of injustice he had to endure, every day, summer after summer, was simply way too much to bear. Yeah, working as a lifeguard on a pretty popular, beautiful beach had tons of perks. The weather was always fantastic, for one. The sun made marvels with his skin, to be honest, after five years doing this summer job he had mastered the art of a perfect tan. Besides while some of his friends were stuck working in boring offices or shops, he simply sat on the beach and looked after people. It was also much better than the job he had during the rest of the year. Being a lifeguard at the town’s community indoor pool was as boring as it could get. Old ladies doing aqua gym and little kids learning to swim with their parents provided little fun. He had to admit this was a dream job; he just had to sit there on his high chair under the sun and enjoy the view.

The problem, the injustice, the great calamity, was that the gorgeous paradisiac view included none other than Louis Tomlinson, famous award winning surfer and extreme sports aficionado. Fearless Louis Tomlinson, gracefully and skillfully riding the waves, having the time of his life with a huge smile on his stupid face. Adorable Louis Tomlinson, teaching little kids how to surf on his free time. Hot as hell Louis Tomlinson, walking around the beach in that sinful wetsuit that fit him like a glove, leaving nothing to the imagination, revealing the best ass in the history of the universe. Cuddly, soft Louis Tomlinson, occasionally napping under the sun, curled up on his towel or starfished on the sand. Fucking Louis Tomlinson, Harry’s best dream and worst nightmare.

Because Louis was just _it_. You know, that person people look for their entire lives and when they find them, everything is rainbows and flowers and birds singing and fireworks and happiness and fuzzy feelings. That person you wanna spend the rest of your life with. It took Harry one casual unexpected dinner with Louis after a chance encounter at the local diner to realize he was a special one. It took Harry one summer; that first summer Louis decided to grace the beach with his presence three summers ago, to realize Louis was that person. That one person. It took… well, they were three years in and Harry was still waiting for the rainbows and the birds and the fucking fireworks.

Apparently, Louis was _it_ for Harry, but Louis had no _it_. Louis had no intention of finding that _it_ , that one person. Louis didn’t want rainbows and birds and fireworks. Long late night conversations at the local pub, surrounded by friends and beers, always led Harry to the same terrifying conclusion. Louis adamantly refused to fall in love. Fearless Louis had a weak spot. Louis was absolutely perfect, except for that one little detail. Louis was impossible. Louis would never want him back.

Harry sighed his millionth and one sigh and abandoned his doodles, resuming his daily ogling. Louis was running up and down the beach, the setting sun making his wet skin almost glitter. So fucking ridiculous Harry rolled his eyes. Louis was playing with a stray dog that the beach goers kept feeding, so it kept coming back. It was a sweet puppy, everyone loved him, Louis included. Apparently an entire day surfing hadn’t drained Louis’ energy yet. Louis just never seemed to stop. Oh, Harry knew that well. Harry fed off that residual energy more than once. Well, just two times, actually. Two impossible to forget times. Impossible to forget how that first summer, a few nights before his vacation ended and he had to head home, Louis found him. Just after making Harry spend three months pining and wanting, Louis turned one of their usual nights out drinking and dancing into something else. Louis pouted, danced, smiled and flirted his way into Harry’s bed. And Harry was weak. So so weak. Harry let him in and ended up the morning after impossibly more in love than before, ready to spend three cold seasons daydreaming about sky blue eyes and golden skin and delicious moans and overwhelming pleasure. And the next summer it happened again. And now, this summer was about to end and Harry was honestly terrified and full of anticipation at the same time. He was always a bit masochistic, wasn’t he?

He tried to distract himself scanning the water, even though his shift had already ended and Liam was already replacing him on the lifeguard chair. It didn’t work for long, though, because he could hear Louis’ booming laugh, so loud not even the sound of the waves could drown it. He looked up again, finding him immediately. Louis was standing close to the water, the dog running circles around him. He was talking to Zayn and Niall, the waves kissing their feet. Zayn Malik was a local surfing wet dream (or so Liam thought, judging by the way he drooled every time he saw him, apparently he had a crush on Zayn since high school). Niall Horan was a local DJ, friend of basically everyone in town. Niall was the one that crushed Harry’s heart the day after that first unexpected dinner, advising him not to take Louis too seriously because he was a flirt, he liked having fun and had no intention of ever falling in love. It took Harry an entire summer and long hours digging into Louis’ brain to really understand the problem. It wasn’t that he preferred having fun. It wasn’t that he thought love was stupid. He was afraid. Afraid of having his heart broken. There were little hints everywhere, in every one of his words when their conversations shifted to their past, to their love history. There were hints in the gleam of his eyes, in the way his smile fell every time Harry asked about it, in the joking tone he used to say that having fun was much better, never getting attached, because love was too complicated. Harry prided himself on being observant. Harry knew how to read between the lines. Complicated meant painful. Complicated meant scary. Louis was afraid.

Suddenly, Louis turned his head and looked straight at him like he knew Harry was watching. Harry froze, knowing he got caught red handed like an embarrassing idiot. And then Louis smiled. He smiled like he didn’t mind. He smiled like he enjoyed the attention, he smiled the same way he did every time alcohol or heartbreak got the best out of Harry and he ended up showering Louis with compliments. That smile hurt. It meant nothing. Harry chuckled, defeated, shaking his head and, tearing his gaze from Louis, he resumed his doodling on the sand. If he had to be honest, he was afraid too. He was afraid of his own feelings for Louis. They were completely out of control. If Louis kept coming back every summer, driving him crazy, Harry was sure he was never, ever going to get over the fact that it was never going to be mutual. That little crush he felt at first just kept growing into something bigger every year and now he was at a breaking point. He knew he had to find the strength to stay away somehow.

Right when he decided he had to get off the sand and take his own pathetic ass back home, a body fell by his side with a thump. He didn’t even need to look to know who it was. A beautiful, delicate but strong hand appeared in front of his eyes, drawing a smiley face on top of his doodles, ruining them. A laugh, clear as a bell, sounded by his right ear. “What are you doing later tonight, curly?” a voice asked. Fuck.

~~~

“You’re not going to stay this time either, are you?” Harry asked, running his fingers through Louis’ hair. After three months of sea water and sun it looked almost golden, and it was so ridiculously soft. Harry was selfish. He knew these things meant nothing, but this was his one chance this year to do them, and then he would have to live with only memories of this moment the other three hundred and sixty four days. No one could blame him for those extra touches and kisses.

Louis lifted his head from the spot it was comfortably laying on, on top of Harry’s hip. He looked at Harry with a big, goofy smile on his face from his place between Harry’s legs. It was a soft smile, full of satisfaction. Two rounds in he decided Harry deserved a blowjob that of course ended with an exhausted, sated Harry still breathing hard and a pliant, happy Louis that grinned like the demon he was. How dare he make himself come while sucking Harry off. How very dare he. “Should I?” Louis asked, his fingers snaking up the inside of Harry’s thigh while he planted little kisses all around his spent cock.

“Yeah… you should…” Harry tried, with all the focus he could muster given the situation. It was the third time this thing between them happened, the third time he asked Louis to stay the night, and apparently it was going to be the third time Louis rejected the offer. Harry asked anyways. He would always ask. The mere idea of sleeping one night with Louis in his arms was too sweet to just give up.

Louis breathed a little laugh over Harry’s damp skin, his kisses climbing to trace the sharp v-line all the way up to his hipbone. He didn’t answer, he just took his time making sure there was no inch of Harry’s skin left unkissed, making Harry’s head swim. Why did he always have to kiss him like he cared? Like he actually wanted Harry to keep those kisses fresh in his memory all year?

“I don’t understand what you’re so scared of…” Harry sighed when the kisses reached his bellybutton, too dizzy to hide the sadness in his words.

Louis laughed again, looking up at him. “Scared? Me? Of what?” he asked, oblivious, or maybe purposefully avoiding the topic. Harry would never know.

Harry took a second to find a way to say what he wanted to say, his fingers still lost on Louis hair. “How come you’re so afraid of falling in love?” he asked, knowing it sounded stupid. It sounded like he was suggesting Louis staying over would mean Louis falling in love with him. It sounded pretentious and pathetic, to be honest.

But those words actually made Louis stop in his tracks and completely remove his mouth from Harry’s skin. What was it about what Harry said that made him stop? Being figured out? The mention of the word love? The fact that now he was going to have to let Harry down to his own face? Louis’ smile grew dimmer, but it didn’t disappear completely. He just chuckled and moved between Harry’s legs to find a comfortable position on top of him, interlacing his fingers right on top of Harry’s butterfly tattoo, propping his chin on top of his hands. “Elaborate?” he asked. He would have looked amused if it wasn’t for the little wrinkle between his eyebrows. Louis was so damn confusing sometimes.

Harry sighed again, finally dropping his hand from Louis’ hair, lifting his arms to put his hands behind his head. He thought and re-thought his theory a million times these past few years, and now that he had a chance to actually say it out loud, the words escaped him. How do you say something like that, to someone like Louis, without sounding like a complete idiot? Fuck. “I just…” Harry rolled his eyes, knowing how stupid he was going to sound, pretending to know all about Louis’ head and heart. “I think you’re afraid of falling in love. I think that’s why you never get attached to anyone. You don’t want to have your heart broken. Again.” Harry said, avoiding Louis eyes, focusing on the mess his fingers made with his hair.

Louis tilted his head to the side, and when Harry looked at him, he finally dropped his smile. Shit. He looked at Harry for a moment, in silence, almost pouting, like he was thinking hard about Harry’s words and he wasn’t liking the conclusion he was arriving at. Or maybe thinking about the gentlest way to tell him he was insane. Or not, because instead of laughing or telling Harry he was wrong, he just whispered “Go on…”

Harry shrugged before talking again. “I think you’re fearless. I mean, you are, right? You do extreme sports, you live life to the fullest, you’re addicted to the feeling of letting go, you… You’re so luminous, you walk in and the room just lights up.” Harry tried to explain, making that little smile appear again on Louis’ lips, encouraging him to continue. “You’re not afraid of all the attention, you’re not even afraid of scary movies,” Louis laughed, making Harry feel all the vibrations of his body reverberating through his. “But you’re afraid of falling in love. I think… I think someone hurt you, someone broke your heart, and now every time someone tells you that they want more, you… you close the door, not even knowing if that person… I don’t know, if maybe they’d be actually willing to love you back. Like, really love you.” Harry blurted, feeling all the heat return to his face, this time not brought by pleasure, but by embarrassment. His own heart ended up being blurted out along with those words. Fuck…

And still, Louis smiled a smile that Harry had never seen before. An honest one, an open one, no sign of mischief or deceit. Harry looked at him, baffled. Why was he smiling? “You know… There’s a huge flaw in your logic, curly.” Louis said matter of factly, lifting his body from Harry’s just to move further up on his hands and knees, kissing sweet kisses along the way. He took his time, finding his place, almost curling up on top of Harry, biting Harry’s chin softly before reaching his mouth, planting a deep, perfect kiss there while his hands supped Harry’s cheeks, leaving him breathless. There was already no oxygen in his lungs and maybe that’s why he didn’t drown by the time Louis whispered against his lips, “How do you know I’m not already in love?”


End file.
